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This Callous Heart

from Bitter Fruit by Jodie Oakes

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lyrics

This Callous Heart

In bed he stank like a butcher,
Murderous meat,
Metallic tasting
Like lithium batteries
On the tongue.
A callous heart
Is not a hard thing
To find.
Outside it rained.
Whilst others sang of spring,
I dreamed of a terrible winter
So stark it pulled the flesh
From my bones
And left me bare.
He chewed the gristle,
Visceral eyes
That hung on mine,
The whites as terrible
As the first flush of snow.
And beneath him
I thought of terrible things.
The glutinous dead
White flesh of a breast,
Lukewarm from the tick
Of a fat heart
Buried somewhere deep,
Perhaps excavated
Long ago.
Pulled out, leaving
Only frayed strings
Attached.
Those strings that
You wound and wound
Trying to tie up
An old festering wound,
But that came undone,
Like shoelaces
Dragging in the dirt.
With every clasp you take
With every grab you make
I cool beneath the touch.
But you reach as though its fire,
For this callous heart
That cools.

credits

from Bitter Fruit, released July 3, 2016

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